Squeeze your kegels, ladies!
Without fail, my favorite instructor shouts this at class every week—while we’re all planking for a full minute, no less. And I have to admit, when I do squeeze my kegels, holding my plank feels easier and I feel more balanced. But aside from those 60 seconds each week, I don’t practice my kegels or put my pelvic floor through any type of workout (on purpose, anyway). But when I discovered there’s a device out there on the market that actually trains your lady muscles, I needed to try this thing out.
What a time to be alive, am I right?
Enter the Elvie. A small, oval-shaped contraption that responds to the pressure of your kegels and tracks your pelvic floor strength with a corresponding app on your phone. Yes, this is a real thing that exists. The future is now, folks.
You charge the Elvie like you would any other electronic device, with a chord that fits into the same cube you’d use to charge your iPhone. Once the green light shuts off, it means that your Elvie is charged up and ready to be used, which actually took quite some time. (Or maybe I was just over eager to try this thing out.)
Once I downloaded the Elvie app, I squeezed the Elvie, and it connected to the app on my phone almost instantly. Getting the Elvie in was a bit awkward at first (Pro tip: Use a little bit of lube). But once it was up there, it wasn’t uncomfortable at all really. The app instructed me to hold my phone near my pelvis, and then asked if I was ready for my first test.
Hell yes, I was.
Then the app instructed me to squeeze my kegel as hard as I could for five seconds or so.
From there, the Elvie decided what kind of workout my pelvic floor should be put through based on that benchmark. I went through a series of three different challenges during my first “workout.”
The first one was kind of like playing old-school Nintendo, where Mario has to jump up and hit those boxes that have hidden coins in them. But instead, it was me squeezing my kegel to try and hit all five markers that were lined up for me with a ball-shaped gem, which moved up and down each time I squeezed. I barely hit two of them, which was pretty disappointing, considering I had been a boss at doing the same thing with a video game controller back in my 90s Nintendo days. But I guess kegel training requires a bit of a different skill set.
I wasn’t much better at the second workout, which involved squeezing your kegel long and hard enough to stay above a horizontal line for an extended amount of time. The final workout was another strength test, where I was instructed to squeeze as hard as I could in intervals to move the gem upward.
By the end of this workout, my lady muscles were exhausted.
I’m not a competitive person in any sense. But training with the Elvie got me hooked on beating my score every time I “worked out.” Day two and three of my very personal training actually had me feeling worn out up there. I wasn’t sore or feeling any kind of pain. My pelvic floor just felt tired—and it showed in my scores, which turned up worse than they had during my first time using it.
Slowly but steadily, I got better at each challenge.
Around day 9 or 10, I was hitting every single one of those targets better than I had in my Super Mario days, and each exercise was starting to feel easier to get through. And so were my workouts. I was able to power through a grueling plank series at an early morning boxing class on day 15, thanks to all the new power behind my kegels.
You’re probably wondering about the, uh, other benefits of training your pelvic floor. But since we’re keeping this PG-13, I’ll just go as far as to say that the answer to your question is: Yes. Training your pelvic floor absolutely makes a difference.
I’d recommend using the Elvie to any woman looking to improve her planks. Or, honestly, to any girl who just wants to play a really fun, unique type of “video game”—and have the coolest answer to “what’s new?” when catching up with girlfriends over drinks.
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